Picture this… You met someone a few weeks ago whom you find attractive, he has taken you out on a few dates and has invited you to his home a couple times. On this particular visit to his home, he decides to pour you a glass of wine, dim the lights and put on a movie. You are lying on his couch with your feet in his lap and he is gently rubbing your feet through a blanket. You are extremely attracted to his personality and good looks. You’re curious about what else he has to offer but your still getting to know him and don’t want to rush anything although everything inside of you is telling you to go for it. Do you make him wait to see what his intentions are, or do you give it up to satisfy your curiosity?

 So….How Soon Is Too Soon?

I have been asked this question by my friends and as a single woman who frequently dates I have also asked myself this question when it comes to having intimate relations with a new person.   This is a hard question to answer because in my opinion there is no correct answer. I think it depends on the people, the situation and your desired outcome. If you are looking at this man as someone who you could have a possible future with than you want him to respect you which means you should probably hold off. If you have no desired outcome and want to casually date than your expectations will not be as high.

‘Think Like A Man' has proven itself to be a Box Office hit raking in $33Million in its opening week. In the movie they touch on the infamous 90 Day Rule. The 90 Day Rule basically says that a woman should make a man wait 90 days before having sex. I have done this and was extremely disappointed that I waited 3 months, got to know him and the sex was wack. I felt as if my time was wasted because realistically I wasn’t going to be in a relationship with someone who could not please me and he didn’t want to just be friends. So is waiting 90 days a smart move? On the flip side, if you give it up too quickly then you’re looked at as easy and gossiped about. This is where the double standard comes into play. A man sleeping around with several women will get a pat on his back from his boys whereas a woman enjoying her single life is gossiped about endlessly. Even more amazing is the guy who sleeps with such a woman and labels her a hoe the next day while he acted in the same manner as she did. So the question is…To Wait or Not To Wait?

Until Next Time,
Niccole

Picture This…. You go to work every day and the handsome man who works a few floors below you starts to make eye contact with you. He is tall with dark wavy hair and is always dressed in tailor made suits. The looks turn into stares which eventually turn into conversation. He tells you how beautiful you are and how your confidence turns him on. He questions everything about you in an attempt to get to know you and be inside of your head.  He asks you on lunch dates that you decline because you have heard through the grapevine that he is a flirt however he is persistent and not taking no for an answer.  After a few emails have been exchanged and a lunch date or two he confesses that he is married but can’t deny his attraction to you. He tells you that he is not happy in his marriage and wants to explore other options however at no point does he discuss his intent to separate or divorce his wife.  He does discuss his desire for weekend getaways in an attempt to get to spend “private” time with you.  This man who you thought was charming and good looking is now looking like a golden retriever, a pit bull, a shih tzu- whichever you prefer but simply put this man is a dog. His charm and good looks give him the confidence to ask woman to be his mistress and you can tell that this man usually gets what he wants. 

I am fully aware of what I bring to the table. I will be 28 years old in September. I am educated with no children. I have my own place, my own car and a great job.  I am financially able to take care of my responsibilities while enjoying a few vacations every year. I am responsible, hardworking, good looking and fashionable. I would never knowingly agree to be a side chick which is why I had no hesitation in telling Mr. Smooth Talker to go to hell. What I don’t understand is why woman agree to being secondary? Is it low self- esteem, lack of love growing up or is she just an attention whore? What would make any woman agree to lying down with a man that you know is going to go home and do the same thing with his girlfriend or wife? She gets the title and all you get is hidden affection. Even if he left his woman for you, who’s to say, he won’t do the same thing to you with the next pretty face that comes along.  I have seen messy situations on Facebook with jump-offs bragging about being the jump off. What kind of world are we living in where anyone would be comfortable promoting their slutty ways? Ladies, please respect yourself and your bodies, know your worth. Know that you’re more than a jump off. Set your standards high and let a man prove to you that he is worthy of your affection.  And don’t forget about Karma, she is ugly and when she does come around, she hits hard and strong.

Until Next Time,
Niccole

Love Vs. Lust

The dictionary defines “love” as: to feel tender affection for somebody and defines “lust” as: the strong physical desire to have sex with somebody. Two different words with completely different meanings often confused with one another. Synonyms of the word love: worship, adore, be devoted to; synonyms of the word lust: desire, yearn, long for.

Have you ever had a man that looked so good that you thought you were in love although his looks were the only thing that he was bringing to the table? How about a man that put it down so good that you knew he was the one that you wanted to spend your life with although he already has a few children and drama with his baby momma? Ever find yourself accepting treatment that you wouldn’t normally accept from an average guy that you will accept from “that” guy because he looks so damn good, makes money or has a diamond encrusted dick and tongue of gold? Do you find yourself settling for someone who doesn’t have the most desirable situation thinking that he is worth the hassle because of the materialistic items that he can afford you or the orgasms he gives you?

Why is it that most women confuse love with lust? You are not in love with him, you’re in love with how he makes you feel when he is licking, sticking or opening his wallet. When he is not doing those few key things…is he really worth your time? I thought I was in love with someone but I realized I was in lust with his penis. When we weren’t in bed he had nothing to offer me that I NEEDED. He didn’t uplift me, motivate me or make me a better woman. I am now in a situation where I’m not sure if it’s love or lust. It’s been a rollercoaster ride getting to where we are currently.  Imagine an old wooden rickety rollercoaster at an amusement park. We took the extremely slow incline up and now I’m about to experience the thrill of not knowing what’s next. Will I enjoy the ride, sit in the front with my hands in the air or will I throw up and never want to take the ride again and be pissed that I wasted my tickets? I consider myself to be an intelligent woman  so WHY do I get these two confused? I mean, I do know the difference….don’t I?