Picture This…. You go to work every day and the handsome man who works a few floors below you starts to make eye contact with you. He is tall with dark wavy hair and is always dressed in tailor made suits. The looks turn into stares which eventually turn into conversation. He tells you how beautiful you are and how your confidence turns him on. He questions everything about you in an attempt to get to know you and be inside of your head.  He asks you on lunch dates that you decline because you have heard through the grapevine that he is a flirt however he is persistent and not taking no for an answer.  After a few emails have been exchanged and a lunch date or two he confesses that he is married but can’t deny his attraction to you. He tells you that he is not happy in his marriage and wants to explore other options however at no point does he discuss his intent to separate or divorce his wife.  He does discuss his desire for weekend getaways in an attempt to get to spend “private” time with you.  This man who you thought was charming and good looking is now looking like a golden retriever, a pit bull, a shih tzu- whichever you prefer but simply put this man is a dog. His charm and good looks give him the confidence to ask woman to be his mistress and you can tell that this man usually gets what he wants. 

I am fully aware of what I bring to the table. I will be 28 years old in September. I am educated with no children. I have my own place, my own car and a great job.  I am financially able to take care of my responsibilities while enjoying a few vacations every year. I am responsible, hardworking, good looking and fashionable. I would never knowingly agree to be a side chick which is why I had no hesitation in telling Mr. Smooth Talker to go to hell. What I don’t understand is why woman agree to being secondary? Is it low self- esteem, lack of love growing up or is she just an attention whore? What would make any woman agree to lying down with a man that you know is going to go home and do the same thing with his girlfriend or wife? She gets the title and all you get is hidden affection. Even if he left his woman for you, who’s to say, he won’t do the same thing to you with the next pretty face that comes along.  I have seen messy situations on Facebook with jump-offs bragging about being the jump off. What kind of world are we living in where anyone would be comfortable promoting their slutty ways? Ladies, please respect yourself and your bodies, know your worth. Know that you’re more than a jump off. Set your standards high and let a man prove to you that he is worthy of your affection.  And don’t forget about Karma, she is ugly and when she does come around, she hits hard and strong.

Until Next Time,
Niccole

Lies pertain to falsehood. A lie is a false statement made with a deliberate intention by someone who knows that it is not the truth. No one likes to be lied to but what if it’s a small lie or a lie that is being told to avoid someone’s feelings getting hurt? Is it ever ok to tell a lie? My mom always told me that honesty is the best policy so I have lived most of my adult life as an honest person. I try to be upfront and straightforward because I’ve found that lying is just too much work.  A lie is usually followed by a series of lies to cover the original lie which can get messy not to mention if the truth is ever discovered you’re labeled a liar. I recently found myself in a compromising situation with someone I care about. I left out pertinent information which turned into a lie. If I was honest I risked this person becoming upset, his feelings possibly hurt and him maybe even distancing himself from me over something that I couldn’t change so I left out certain details. I did this not because I’m an asshole but because he wouldn’t understand where I was coming from, so leaving out those details made it easier.  I felt guilty about not being honest to him especially because I pride myself in being an honest person. In my mind not telling the whole truth was me trying to protect his feelings but in reality was just me being selfish. So... if you’re telling a lie to avoid hurting the feelings of someone you care about does that make telling the lie ok?  What if you have a friend who is overweight and she is wearing something that you wouldn’t necessarily wear and she asks you if she looks good. Do you tell this friend no and you probably need to lose about 20lbs or do you lie and say you look great to avoid her already low self-esteem from declining even further? We have all told white lies, but a lie is still a lie, excuses are the best friend of a lie and leaving information out is the brother of a lie. They are all related and all no good.  
To the person I lied to…If you’re reading this (which you better be!) I apologize for not being honest. I was coming from a good place but I take responsibility for my actions and glad that you were able to forgive me, it won’t happen again.

Word of advice from someone who has been caught in a lie: Be Honest…it’s just so much easier

Until Next Time,
Niccole