Love Vs. Lust

7/19/2013

6 Comments

 
Love Vs. Lust

The dictionary defines “love” as: to feel tender affection for somebody and defines “lust” as: the strong physical desire to have sex with somebody. Two different words with completely different meanings often confused with one another. Synonyms of the word love: worship, adore, be devoted to; synonyms of the word lust: desire, yearn, long for.

Have you ever had a man that looked so good that you thought you were in love although his looks were the only thing that he was bringing to the table? How about a man that put it down so good that you knew he was the one that you wanted to spend your life with although he already has a few children and drama with his baby momma? Ever find yourself accepting treatment that you wouldn’t normally accept from an average guy that you will accept from “that” guy because he looks so damn good, makes money or has a diamond encrusted dick and tongue of gold? Do you find yourself settling for someone who doesn’t have the most desirable situation thinking that he is worth the hassle because of the materialistic items that he can afford you or the orgasms he gives you?

Why is it that most women confuse love with lust? You are not in love with him, you’re in love with how he makes you feel when he is licking, sticking or opening his wallet. When he is not doing those few key things…is he really worth your time? I thought I was in love with someone but I realized I was in lust with his penis. When we weren’t in bed he had nothing to offer me that I NEEDED. He didn’t uplift me, motivate me or make me a better woman. I am now in a situation where I’m not sure if it’s love or lust. It’s been a rollercoaster ride getting to where we are currently.  Imagine an old wooden rickety rollercoaster at an amusement park. We took the extremely slow incline up and now I’m about to experience the thrill of not knowing what’s next. Will I enjoy the ride, sit in the front with my hands in the air or will I throw up and never want to take the ride again and be pissed that I wasted my tickets? I consider myself to be an intelligent woman  so WHY do I get these two confused? I mean, I do know the difference….don’t I?

6 Comments
Vanessa
7/19/2013 11:12:48 am

Great question at the end! The answer is no! you don't seem to know the difference. you appear to very vulnerable and lost and using sex as drug to heal yourself. What you fail to realize is that men pick up on that very quickly and will use you for sex because you appear very insecure and immature. What is this "current situation" doing for you beside putting it down that makes you feel like you in love? How long have you been with this person? I didn't read that he was a provider, have been there for you emotionally, spiritually, financially and would do anything for you. Not just lay up in bed with you. Any women can lay up with a man but those are the one who are side pieces and jump offs. Due to the fact that it appears that you put such a high priority on sex you will attract the same type of guys with the baby momma drama, broke, will trick on you at first but it's all a front and you will end up suffering financially at the end of the day. Don't get me wrong sex is very important in a relationship but it will not ultimately get you a real man or a husband. Ive been married for three years now and my husband wasn't the best in bed initially but I communicated to him what I like and how I like it and we worked it out together. I thought about leaving the relationship because the sex was not good but that would have been a big mistake. I know I'm no porn star either so I thought about how I would feel if he left me because the sex was not great and we did not try to work it out. I would have been in so much pain and I did want to loose a real man for something so stupid. I was with him for 10 years on and off before we got married. would have got married much sooner but I was like you and very immature. Not know the difference between love and lust. Great Dick will never be love. My husband has always been there for me whenever I called despite me dating other guys during our off times. He loved me unconditionally and that emotional connection will always be more important than sex. What concerned me the most about this blog is that you said you wanted to spend your life with a man who "put it down so good" but you didn't mention any other important qualities that he had besides money and sex. why do you think he has baby mama's and not a wife. Big difference! Nobody is perfect so if you find a man who cares about you and loves you unconditionally and they are a provider and fulfill your needs emotionally which is ultimately much more important as you become older and much more mature don't leave him because but may not put it down! Because if you communicate and work it out together you will find yourself a husband. Not a man or boy but a husband! I would suggest you leave this current situation alone if he is not bringing anything else to the table but sex. Get off the roller coaster!. Find some who genuinely loves you and not your pussy! Lastly ask yourself this? What if this guy you are currently dating decided to leave you because some other woman could put it down better than you and he had an emotional connection with that person. Grow up girl! There are Good men out her who may not put it down the way you like but they will hold you down and that's way more important. Good Luck Niccole!

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Niccole
7/19/2013 11:25:00 am

Lol I have discussions with my friends and co workers about different situations. What I'm talking about doesn't directly apply to me but just the discussions I have had and find interesting so i thought i would write about it. Thanks for the comment though! That's why I love blogs cause you can get different opinions from people. Thanks Vanessa

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Altoria
7/19/2013 12:25:58 pm

Vanessa ... Not sure if you are aware but last time i checked good dick is the way to the heart !!!!

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Niccole
7/25/2013 02:09:58 am

Yes Altoria great sex is an important part of a relationship but the way to my heart not sure i agree with that comment. I think great sex with your partner plays a big role in the success of your relationship however I also think what he/she brings to the table is equally important. Lets say the sex is great but he is also giving it to other woman would you let him in your heart? What if he has no job, 3 kids and sits at home running your electric bill up but puts it down.... Is that the man who you would want to hold your heart? Something to think about.....

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aj
7/20/2013 06:30:29 am

Granted, this isn't something new to me and I've thought about this long and hard over the years, particularly when I realized I was going to be a father and had to put my entire life into perspective. I think the truth is love isn't real. We assign varying degrees of lengths we would go to keep someone else happy, family included, and, when we don't want to think about some of the more negative aspects, such as the imposition we may be placed in because of them, we call it 'love'. I, personally, consider "love" a term that people use to imply "I'd do just as much for you as you'd do for me. We are so on the same level, we don't even have to articulate what we'd do, we just know we'd do it for each other." But the reality is, when the lust has faded away, each side realizes they had very different ideas on what each one meant.

I haven't been in a lot of relationships but I learned very early on, applied love is effectively asking yourself, will I do that, will I not?

I'm a horrible partner and pretty bad at any intimate relationships but I think it's because I value everything and everyone around me and rank them. Figuring out, what is most important to me, who is most important and I don't let any actions change my opinion ranking and value, except when I've decided to sit down and think through whether I need to re-evaluate things.

I think the reason people get love and lust so confused is lust is logical, you can write down on a piece of paper what it is you like about someone, love, being so implicit, requires a lot of effort and objective thought that, when you lust after someone or something, you just don't want to think about. "If I get in an accident and can't walk anymore will X work with me? If I hit the lottery, will X assume they can quit their job too? If X hits the lottery, where does that leave me?" Thinking about those things, objectively, takes a lot of effort, inconvenience and, in my case, it's pretty depressing. I usually wind up going for a work out session or drum session and just think through all those things because you have to be in the right state of mind, just to accept that you may not be heading down the path you want.

I apologize if I'm talking in circles a bit, I'm not one for the most structured thoughts...but they're on point dammit.

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Niccole
7/25/2013 02:25:22 am

AJ... I read what you wrote multiple times because I find it very interesting. I have never heard an opinion on love like that before but I must say I agree with a lot of what you said. Lust is logical and simple where love is complex. I don't agree with your statement stating love isn't real but I can understand why you think that as you make valid points. After reading your comment I have decided to take a page from your book and decide who and what is most important to me and rank the importance level. I have a feeling that after some deep thought some people who were once a priority to me may not be anymore. Thanks for your input!!!





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