The title of my post is inspired by the classic whodini song. Everyone has friends, so asking how many of us have them is a dumb question, or is it?

What exactly is a friend? The dictionary defines a friend as a person whom one knows, likes and trusts. Seems simple enough but let's explore those three elements. To know someone is not as simple as meeting them or working with them. To know someone means you know what makes them happy, sad, mad etc. You know parts of their past and their aspirations for the future. To like someone means that despite their shortcomings you still enjoy the time that you spend with that person. The things that annoy you about that person you accept because you like them and enjoy being around them. Last but certainly not least, the most important part of a friendship is the trust factor. Can you trust this person with even the juiciest piece of gossip? Can you trust that this person will be there for you when you need them? Does this person lie? Knowing someone, liking someone and trusting them makes for a successful friendship. We have all had people come in and out of our lives that we thought were friends but were not, and it was probably because one of these elements were missing. So often people confuse friends and acquaintances. Most of the people I know are my acquaintances. Before considering someone my friend I ask myself would this person do for me what I would do for them?  If it's a simple yes than great but if I need to think about it then maybe this person is better off being just someone I say hi and bye to. I once had someone who I thought was my friend. She used to always comment on how much of a strong and independent woman I was and how she wished she could break away from her situation and be more like myself. Unfortunately her admiration turned into jealousy at which point she became my frenemy which is a dangerous person to have in your circle. 

I have been blessed to have great friends. I know a lot of people but I can count my true friends on my hand. They accept me for who and what I am and vice versa. Just because you grew up with someone or work with them everyday doesn't make them your friend. Make wise decisions and trust who you talk to because its a small world. 

Until next time 
Niccole
 
Love Vs. Lust

The dictionary defines “love” as: to feel tender affection for somebody and defines “lust” as: the strong physical desire to have sex with somebody. Two different words with completely different meanings often confused with one another. Synonyms of the word love: worship, adore, be devoted to; synonyms of the word lust: desire, yearn, long for.

Have you ever had a man that looked so good that you thought you were in love although his looks were the only thing that he was bringing to the table? How about a man that put it down so good that you knew he was the one that you wanted to spend your life with although he already has a few children and drama with his baby momma? Ever find yourself accepting treatment that you wouldn’t normally accept from an average guy that you will accept from “that” guy because he looks so damn good, makes money or has a diamond encrusted dick and tongue of gold? Do you find yourself settling for someone who doesn’t have the most desirable situation thinking that he is worth the hassle because of the materialistic items that he can afford you or the orgasms he gives you?

Why is it that most women confuse love with lust? You are not in love with him, you’re in love with how he makes you feel when he is licking, sticking or opening his wallet. When he is not doing those few key things…is he really worth your time? I thought I was in love with someone but I realized I was in lust with his penis. When we weren’t in bed he had nothing to offer me that I NEEDED. He didn’t uplift me, motivate me or make me a better woman. I am now in a situation where I’m not sure if it’s love or lust. It’s been a rollercoaster ride getting to where we are currently.  Imagine an old wooden rickety rollercoaster at an amusement park. We took the extremely slow incline up and now I’m about to experience the thrill of not knowing what’s next. Will I enjoy the ride, sit in the front with my hands in the air or will I throw up and never want to take the ride again and be pissed that I wasted my tickets? I consider myself to be an intelligent woman  so WHY do I get these two confused? I mean, I do know the difference….don’t I?